To Be Alone

March 5, 2019
Nikita Satapathy
Photos
Oghale Alex

Alone.

The simple thought of it used to send chills down my spine as a child. It was a fear of isolation, the fear of not belonging.


Wisdom has come with age, and with that, so has more understanding of what “alone” really means.


Never-ending notifications and the technological advances of this era, brings days when I desire to unplug from it all. Our generation has faced the brunt of information overload and with that comes unwanted side effects: depression, fatigue, stress, and anxiety. Even as we’ve learned more who we are and the world around us, there is such a thing as being too invested and being too involved. Even being in the company of others becomes exhausting.


There are times when I need the solace of my own embrace. I retreat to my room, dress in comfy clothes, and make a cup of coffee. I put a vinyl on the record player and savor how the only sounds I hear are the ones I choose.


It is hard to get out of bed in the morning sometimes and face the world head on, as we aspire to be the men and women that fill our newsfeeds with their accomplishments and forced standards of perfection. That’s why it’s important to take a step back and put ourselves first. If that means taking the day to be alone, so be it. Declining an invitation for dinner or drinks doesn’t make you a loner or a bad person; it makes you human.


I am not afraid of being alone anymore. I cherish it. My friends and family have been nothing but good to me; but it is ultimately up to me to pull myself up and decide what I want. I emphasize placing value on mental health over appearances, meditating over stressing, silence over sound.


To me, being alone has become a gift.